What if I’m the Abuser?
Anyone can be an abuser of dating violence regardless of sex, race, ethnicity, age, and sexual identity. Signs you might be the abusive one:
You find yourself often getting mad at things your partner does.
You get angry, yell, and throw things during arguments.
You are always wondering if your partner is cheating on you and this thought tends to arise in your intimate relationships.
You want your partner to “just do what you ask for once”.
You have physically pushed, shoved, hit, or kicked your partner.
You feel the need to quickly move on after arguments rather than talk through what occurred.
You think negatively of your partner; they are lazy, over-emotional, or disrespectful in your eyes.
You have to “convince” your partner to engage in intimacy with you.
You feel that you haven’t really done anything wrong in the relationship, or if you did, it was just in response to your partner bad behavior.
If you have ever displayed any warning signs or used abusive tactics towards a dating partner, it is not too late to change! You have likely learned that you need power and control over your partner in relationships, but that means it can be unlearned too!
Tips to change your behavior:
Consider why you act this way, what triggers you? How can you find better ways to deal with this anger?
Put yourself in your partner shoes and think about how they may feel when you act these ways
Seek out a school counselor or therapist
Research what makes a relationship healthy and what is unhealthy
Identify coping mechanisms or ways to calm yourself when you are angry or upset