Establishing clear boundaries is essential for the upkeep of healthy relationships. Respecting each other’s boundaries means that you are not crossing their line and entering into a space that makes them uncomfortable. 

What are boundaries?

You can think of boundaries as the rules you set for your own life to maintain your comfort level in all situations. The boundaries we set in a relationship with our romantic partner(s), may look different from the boundaries we set with our friends. Knowing both your boundaries and your partner’s boundaries makes it easier to communicate and sustain a healthy relationship. 

Why is it important to set boundaries?

It is important to set boundaries to make sure that you are not being taken advantage of, you sustain good mental and emotional health, and it helps develop your identity and autonomy. Boundaries give you a better understanding of who you are so that you can present the best version of yourself without feeling like you are sacrificing who you are at your core.

How do I identify my boundaries?

A good way to start identifying your boundaries is by analyzing the five most common aspects of life that people have to set boundaries in. These five aspects of life are: Emotional, Time/Energy, Material, Mental, Physical. 

• Emotional Boundaries set the tone of what we are ready to handle emotionally. This could be another person dumping their emotions on to you during a time that is not good for your emotional state, dismissing your emotions for the sake of others, or even saying “I love you” when you are not ready.

• Time/Energy Boundaries could be as simple as taking time to be alone. There is nothing wrong with alone time, it can be extremely healthy. This could also apply to sharing your time with others and not allowing your time to be wasted.

• Material Boundaries is a way to establish whether or not you are ok with sharing certain possessions of yours with your partner.

• Mental Boundaries is maintaining your freedom to have your own beliefs, values, and thoughts without feeling like you have to convert to please your partner. Any mental changes that you make within your relationship should be at your own free will.

• Physical Boundaries can apply to both sexual and non-sexual advances that jeopardize your comfort level. This could be PDA, sexual/flirtatious commenting, and touching.

Everyone has a certain level of comfort when it comes to these aspects of their life. After identifying your boundaries it makes it easier to communicate with confidence to others about things that you are comfortable with consenting to.